Here's the the Freak Show!
by DamonsDemon
Summary: A new member to the Venice Beach Freak Show threatens to stir up trouble. She knows what she wants and she is not afraid to get it. This is a Morgue and OC fanfic
1. Chapter 1: Freak Show

A ray of sun peaks through the tiny slat in the blackout curtains, the light daring to assault the area just above my eyes. Blinking, I sit up slowly, being extra careful to protect my sleepy pupils from any further attacks by the orb of fire floating just outside my window.

"Cursed sun," I grumble swinging my feet off of the bed and onto the floor causing Milo, the tabby cat, to let out a yowl before scampering across the wooden boards.

He continues to make a racket until I stumble into the kitchen, pulling open a pouch of tuna and dumping it into a clean looking red bowl that is sitting it in the sink. Milo jumps up onto the counter, happily eating his breakfast.

"Big day Milo, mommy might be getting a job today," I yawn, rubbing my fingers down the cats spine.

Two green eyes blink back at me as if even my cat doesn't believe my feeble lie, "This time for real."

Leaving the kitchen I head towards the back of my small apartment where the bathroom is. The water is on seconds after my shirt hits the floor. I shower quickly, wanting to leave plenty of time to fix my hair and make up for today. If I get this job I'll have nothing to worry about. If not I might have to leave Venice Beach and the only life I've ever know behind.

It's a twenty-minute walk from where I live to the freak show. The sun is hot on my bare shoulders and it will be a miracle if my makeup isn't completely melted off by the time I show up. The first thing I'm buying with the money I make is a car.

All too soon I'm standing at the bottom of wooden steps, eyes set on the curtain that acts as a door for the freak show building. My heartbeat picks up, threatening to pop out of my chest any second.

"Are you gonna go in or are you just gonna stand out here," a soft voice in my ear causes me to jump, my sword bag sliding off my shoulder and onto the concrete.

"So sorry," a pale man says leaning over to retrieve my bag, "my names Morgue."

"Danger," I answer with a soft smile. He must work here.

"Come on in, Todd's waiting for you."

Hoisting the black bag back up onto my shoulder I follow Morgue up the stairs and into the tent looking building.

"Do you like working here?" I question as we walk towards the back of the building where the stage is set up.

"This is my family," Morgue answers as if that's supposed to explain everything.

Nodding, I set my bag on the group coming to stand in front of a balding man, a women with long curly hair, and a younger girl wearing dark eye make-up. Morgue goes and sits next to her as I pull a few swords from my bag.

"Hi, I'm Danger," I announce fiddling with the strings on the end of my samurai sword, "and I am a sword swallower."

Morgue and the girl with dark eye makeup lift their eyebrows, shifting around in their chairs as if I've just become the most interesting person they've ever met. I've never been nervous preforming in front of people but for some reason the dark stare from Morgue makes me uncomfortable.

"Whenever you're ready," the balding man, who I'm assuming is Todd, prompts me.

Nodding, I lick up and down the samurai swords before slowly lowering it into my throat, curving my body ever so slightly so that I do not cut my insides. Time slows down as the cold metal continues to slide downward and then slowly back up.

Once the sword is out, I bow as those sitting in front of me begin to clap.

"I don't think I've ever seen that before," Todd says, coming up to examine the sword. "Morgue, have you ever swallowed one of these before?"

The pale man in front of my shakes his head, a twisted smile forming on his thin lips. The admiration in his eyes makes me smile. It feels amazing to be amongst people who appreciate the kind of work I am capable of doing.

"I can also do fire sword swallowing."

"Can we see?" the girl with dark makeup questions.

"Sure," I answer, pulling out the supplies I need.

Once the sword is lit I tilt it back and let it slide down, pulling it back out after a second.

"That's amazing," the girl says, glancing over at Todd.

I let everyone talk amongst him or herself, trying hard not to here the whispered conversation, as I place my swords back inside the black bag. My eyes travel around the room, the rich fabrics hung along the walls and the old time sideshow posters. It would be better to work here than continue being chased off by the boardwalk cops.

After a few more minutes of shifting my weight from foot to foot and pretending to not be listening to the debate going on right in front of me Todd stands up.

"Well Danger, we've talked it over and we think you'd be a great asset to the Freak show here."

A smile spreads across my face, one that hasn't been there in such a long time, "That's so awesome. Thank you so much."

I'm pulled into a hug before I can turn it down. Everyone that just watched me preform gather around, cocooning me in a weird group hug. Once they have moved away I see Morgue standing a little way off, a look of admiration on his face. A smirk pulls at the corner of his black painted lips, arms crossed over his chest as if he's trying to hold the emotional shit inside of him.

"Did I suck?" I question, bumping him in the side with one of my elbows, careful to not let my bag hit the ground in the process.

The pale man in front of me closes his eyes into a squint as if he's magically lost his site or I somehow grew a hole in my head.

"No, you were fine."

With that he walks away from me towards the front of the building.

"Don't take it personally," the girl with dark make-up smiles at me, "that's just Morgue. He's a little dark."

"Yeah, I can see that," I answer projecting no emotion in my words. I'm fine with being happy but this girl seems way to eager. I'm not big on the whole being really welcoming, you're part of the family thing.

"Feel free to just hang out, we're all going to dinner later," the girl says with the same cheery smile as before. "I'm Asia by the way, Todd's daughter."

"Great."

Leaving my sword bag in the back corner I head outside. The nicotine high I'd given myself earlier this morning has worn off and life seems bland without the slightly altered frame of mind.

The fire from the end of my lighter licks the end of my cigarette as I head across the street to a bench. Letting myself lie across the bench I shield my eyes from the dastardly sun, the other dangling towards the ground.

As I suck in the smoke, the end of my cigarette crumples up, the paper burning and glowing a bright red. My entire body becomes light, like I'm floating under water. Just as I start to let my eyelids fall shut, a figure above me blocks out the sun.

"Scoot over," a male voice says from above.

I get out of the way just as a butt lands where my head had just been. Glancing over I see Morgue sitting next to me on the bench, a black umbrella shading his slim figure from the sun. I shift just a little closer to the man so that I am covered by the shadow.

"Do you live on the board walk," Morgue questions, pulling out his own cigarette. It's menthol like mine, just a different brand and fancier wrapping. I guess after you start making money you can afford pretty wrapping.

"No," I respond, letting out a small laugh.

Morgue nods, a smile threatening to ruin his solemn, dark exterior. Something tells me he's not nearly as dark as he tries to come off as. Then again what do I know; I've only been around him for maybe a grand total of thirty minutes. That doesn't make me a genius on the subject of Morgue.

"Me either," Morgue says after finishing off his cigarette, "too many people."

"You don't like people?"

"Not really, no. They're ignorant and stupid and conforming and nosy. I prefer to be left alone."

I nod, completely understanding where he is coming from. People look at a girl with tattoos and piercings and instantly feel like it is there right to objectify or ask questions when, in fact, it is not one of their rights. "Do I bother you?"

"No, I find you interesting. Like a puzzle."

"That's an interesting take on it."

Together we stand, heading back inside of the building. It looks as if everyone has cleared out to go about his or her day-to-day lives. For some reason going home just sounds utterly depressing.

"Are you coming to dinner?"

Morgue's inquiry catches me off guard. I honestly was not expecting him to be going. He just doesn't seem like one who would go out and eat food with others…or really be social at all.

"Are you?"

"Wouldn't have asked if I wasn't."

"Then yeah, I'll go."

About that time Asia comes around the corner from the back, her eyes instantly lighting up when she sees that Morgue is still around. The way her body language changes and the way her smile, already large, increases even more in size, lets me know that she likes him. Not just like a child crush but really likes him. In response I turn to focus on Morgue. I can tell he knows but refuses to respond in a way that would encourage any not appropriate for work behavior. His actions do not speak to me one way or another, which in truth is slightly disappointing.

To me reading people is just another art form. Taking their body language and turning it into thoughts and feelings, and sometimes, even words is thrilling. It's like another level of high, one that puts you in power to control the situation as you see fit.

"Danger, are you planning on coming to dinner with us?" Asia asks in an overly excited tone, "my dad is calling in to reserve a table."

"Yeah, I'll be there."

Asia nods aggressively giving Morgue a big smile before disappearing behind the curtain.

There is no doubt my time at the Freak Show will definitely be interesting.

**Later **

The dress I have chosen to wear to dinner billows in the warm summer wind, the sun, a golden orb hanging just above the buildings, slowly sinks as I wait for Morgue outside of the restaurant that was chosen for us to eat at.

The people that pass gawk and mutter things under their breath as if they've never seen a girl wearing all black before. Tuning them out is easy; I hear what I want to hear of their judgmental conversations and snide comments. It's the stares that get to me, the looks of utter horror and sympathy as if my life is so much harder or different from theirs. It's bullshit but then again that's human nature I guess.

Just as I am about to get lost in the dark world of my own thoughts Morgue appears almost out of nowhere. His white hair looks like a bed of snow falling from under his black hat and onto the shoulders of his suite jacket. I'm glad I dressed up more I would have looked very out of place in the ripped jeans and black tank top that I had worn earlier.

"Come on in, creature and a few others are already inside," Morgue announces as he holds the glass door open for me.

As we reach the table a man with face piercings and a very small lady wave to us. Although I've never seen them before I assume they are people I will be working with and try my best to be friendly. New people make me nervous.

Morgue pulls the seat next to him out allowing me to sit down. Two glasses of red whine are ordered and quickly delivered. I am not introduced nor do the others sitting at the table attempt to make small talk. This is comfortable and normal. I actually like the company of others if it's going to be like this.

Finally, the midget women speaks up, "I'm Ali."

A small hand is thrusts my way and I have no other choice than to take it and introduce myself. "Danger."

"I'm Creature," the man with the pierced face chimes in waving at me from his seat.

I nod in his direction, glancing over at Morgue to see his reaction to all this. He is straight faced, staring at the illuminated screen of his phone.

As more people join us the same introduction is said over and over, new names and faces flooding my memory.

"So are you a friend of Morgue's," Brianna, the "Invincible Women" asks.

"No."

"I was just wondering," she responds with a smile, "you both are…." She motions to us, her pointed finger switching between Morgue and myself.

"Dark," I offer up, leaving my lips slightly parted, eyes set on Brianna's face. Is she really going to discriminate amongst her fellow freaks?

Before Brianna has time to say more Todd walks in, "Jessa arrived! The bearded lady is here!"

Everyone at the table erupts with cheers and applause.

"I just can't believe I'm here. I'm meeting all you guys and I'm like oh my God, cause ya'll are the celebrities I'm just some chick with a beard," Jessa says as she takes the chair next to Todd.

It's odd to me that this incredible women feels like the rest of us, most of us just normal people who have modified our body or can do amazing things, are so much better than she is. We are all on the same level; none of us are better, or freakier than any other. It's mind blowing.

Todd interrupts my train of thought, "To the bearded lady and the tallest man in America!"

Everyone raises their glasses, cheering for these new people that just entered into this odd family structure.

"Are you preforming tomorrow?" Morgue asks in a soft, velvety whisper, pulling my attention away from the other conversations that are going on around me.

"Yeah, but I'm sure you already knew that," I answer with a smirk as I pour myself another glass of wine.

"I might have."

My eyes focus on Morgue's lips. The way the corners tug up and then are yanked back down when they don't actually want to smile, how the edges are a light tint of grey as if the hand cleaning off the black got lazy and gave up. How his top lip sits perfectly on his bottom, both pushed out into a small pout. They're fascinating and different but perfect all at the same time.

"Here," a phone is pushed into my hand, "incase you ever wanna rehearse together."

Instinctively I put my number in the phone, handing over mine to get his. I watch the black painted nails fly across the phone screen, finding it funny how the smallest things about this man fascinate me.

"Tomorrow is the event, we've got the two-headed bearded dragon, the bearded lady," Todd's voice cuts through the intensity of the stare Morgue and I were sharing. Will you join us tomorrow?"

George, the tallest man in American, to whom Todd was addressing the question looks around at all of us, "I would love to be there tomorrow."

Another cheer goes up around the table, people clanking their glasses with silverware.

At this Todd stands, raising his glass high in the air, "Here's to the Freak Show! May we live like this till the day we die!"


	2. Chapter 2: Hazy

The night flies by in a drug induced haze. If I slept I don't remember though I am not in the least bit tired. The boardwalk flies by in front of my eyes as I head to work. If there are people around me I don't see them. The wind picks up strands of my dark hair, causing it to dance in the sky. The smell of boardwalk food assaults my nose, causing it to wrinkle, my mind trying to convince my stomach to not empty its contents right here on the sidewalk. Everything is hazy.

The second I walk through the doors of my new workplace, banners are thrust into my hands. I move around hanging things where I am told as well as assisting others. I don't know if anyone knows what kind of state of mind I'm in and in truth I don't really care. The world is spinning and the images and people fade together in a blur of color. Then all of a sudden BAM someone slams on the breaks.

Soft hands encase my bare arms and stormy eyes make contact with mine, "Calm down."

His soft voice floats to my ears like music. His lips are inches from mine and I think about how easy it would be to lean forward and connect.

"Todd wants everyone inside to discuss acts. Are you going to be okay?"

There is a sense of pure concern mixed with a kind of jeering as if I'm a child needing to be punished for putting myself in some kind of imminent danger.

Leaning forward I press my lips close to Morgue's ear, "I'm fine…are you?"

With that I give him a snarky smirk, rocking back on my heels before disappearing inside.

"So Murrugan, you're going to be doing…" Todd starts once everyone has gathered around the central stage.

The man seated in front of me starts to talk, "Fire breathing and some eating."

"Okay and Asia you're also going to be…"

Todd's daughter cuts him off midsentence, "Fire eating…yeah."

"Morgue?"

A devilish smile plays over Morgue's pale face, "Swallowing swords."

"Exactly," Todd's eyes meet mine. "Danger are you also doing that?"

"I've been working on something special," I answer back a huge smile spreading across my face as I think about the stunt I am going to preform in less than an hour.

"Brianna, we need you to do something," Todd instructs the women sitting on the floor.

She looks less than happy to be addressed but I can see the wheels in her head turning as she quickly comes up with an act to preform, "Okay, um, I got a grinder?"

"That would work good outside I think," Todd answers back. "The main reason we're doing this is Poncho and Lefty, they really are the rarest creatures on Earth and they're about to be three years old."

"Now that's a birthday party to be celebrating," Morgue interjects.

I've never seen him this happy before. I guess preforming really is his passion and I cannot wait to see what he is going to do.

"That is real!" Just as Todd is about to continue on with his rant about the two-headed bearded dragon Creature walks in with a white cake box.

"Put it right here," Todd instructs, motioning to a table with a blood red tablecloth draped over it.

The cake is amazing. The shape of the cake is a two headed dragon decorated with red icing. The dragon's tongues are sticking out. Everything down to the claws are absolutely perfect and it's hard for me to wrap my brain around the fact the entire thing is made out of cake and icing.

"Are you ready for your first show with the Venice Beach Freak Show?" Todd questions as everyone files outside so that the show can start.

"So excited!" I answer back with a smile.

The adrenaline is pumping as I watch Murrugan blow fire up into the sky above the audience's heads. The look of wonder and amazement on the faces of those who have stopped to watch our show makes me more than ready to preform in front of them. Preforming on the street corners is fun but knowing that people are stopping in just to see what you have to do is an amazing feeling.

Morgue raises an eyebrow at me as he steps forward to preform one of two acts he will be doing today.

"This young man, we call him Morgue cause if you do what he's gonna do now you're gonna end up dead," Todd announces.

With the same devilish smile as before Morgue flicks out his tongue, licking the sword up and down before lowering it down his throat, his esophagus muscles taking over half way through as he moves his hands away from the handle.

I know Todd is discussing how sword swallowing works, but nothing else matters. I'm obsessed. The ease in which the sword was lowered, the amazing amount of muscle control that is involved in not just letting the sharpened point of the weapon plunge into his stomach…the skill that Morgue possesses is amazing.

Finally, the crowd is moved inside and instructed to gather around the stage. The nerves begin to sink in as Morgue amps up those who have dared come inside to see what else the Freak Show has to offer.

As I fiddle with the handle of my swords, Morgue drills into his naval cavity. The crowd gasps, a few mother's covering their children's eyes as if seeing something like that would ruin them forever.

Asia takes the physical drill from Morgue as he lets the drill bit go further inside of him.

"You know what, lets get that back," he says, keeping the crowd engaged as he pulls the bit out of his nose with his bare fingers

For some reason I cannot keep my eyes off of Morgue, he's fascinating, even more so than I thought before. The way he preforms, the way no nervousness or fear plays across his face as he preforms. It's amazing and extremely inspiring.

"Our newest member of the Freak Show, Miss Danger," Morgue announces before I know what is going on.

I take my place center stage.

The first sword slides down my throat easily. The feeling of the cold metal is comforting. I am confident in my skills and nothing can go wrong. The second sword hilt pushes past the other one. I can feel them shift around within my throat and I push past the feeling of needing to swallow. I nod to Asia and Morgue that they can come remove the weapons from my mouth and bow as the audience begins to clap.

The excitement is always the same. The happy feelings bubbling up inside when you know you've pulled off another successful stunt, even if it is one that I've preformed before. To see every set of eyes in the room fixed on you is a feeling I wouldn't trade for anything in the world.

As I head out I am stopped by Morgue. I can tell by the look in his eyes that he wants to talk about earlier. Although I am not really in the mood I figure it's better we talk it out than him going to Todd. I know what I did was stupid and I don't want to lose my job but old habits take such a long time to die; especially ones that I enjoy.

"Danger, can I walk with you?"

I nod, motioning with my hand for him to fall into step with me.

"What's up," I question making my eyes as big and innocent as possible. It seems to work for Asia so I figure why not give it a shot.

"You can't come to work on the day of a show high," Morgue starts off cutting right to the chase. I should've known that he's not a bullshitter.

"I'm sorry?" I ask, trying out the innocent act one more time. At this point I'm pulling at threads.

Morgue isn't having it. As we round the corner I'm pushed up against the brick wall of another building along the strip. Dark lips are brought close to my ear, a sharp, biting tone, almost snake like fill the words that are hissed at me.

"Don't fuck with me Danger, you were high off your ass today and I won't accept it! I've watched you preform on the end of that boardwalk for almost a year now. You're too fucking good to be doing that. What you do on your own time is your business but don't do that. Do you know how hurt you could've gotten?"

"Does Morgue care?" I answer back in a harsh tone not at all appreciative of him thinking he's somehow my protector just cause he used to walk my shitty street performance. He doesn't even know me.

"Don't you dare mock me."

I grab onto Morgue's shirtsleeve, twisting him around so that I now have him pushed up against the brick wall, "Don't you act like you know me."

Morgue's eyes shift between my cold stare and my lips. The tension in the space between us is tangible. The line is about to be crossed and I can't let that happen. This is too fast; too fast for either of us to have any kind of feelings to feel protection or even worry towards the other person.

The buzzing of a cellphone breaks the tension, allowing each of us to move a save distance away from each other. On the phone screen I can see a picture of Asia, her eyes lit up as if nothing made her happier than Morgue asking for a picture for his phone.

"Go see what your girlfriend wants," I snarl before hoisting my bag up on my shoulder and continuing down the street towards my apartment.

Its hours later when my phone goes off, the shrill sounds of the robotic ring filling my eerily quiet apartment. Milo jumps up from the arm of the couch giving me a disgusted look as if I wanted to wake him up from his slumber.

The name Morgue flashes across the screen. Ignoring the call I plop back down on the couch, the old cushioning letting out a resistant puff before forming an indent around my butt.

Seconds later my phone begins to go off again, the same familiar name flashes across the screen as if taunting me. Letting out a sigh of defeat I pick up.

"Hello?"

"Danger, will you let me in?"

Hanging up I pull on an over sized sweatshirt and trudge down the old wooden stairs to get to the ground floor. Morgue is standing outside the door his fingers looped through the iron bars that act as extra protection from the outside world. All the stage makeup he was wearing earlier is wiped away yet he is still stunningly pale as if his skin has never been touched by the light of day.

"Danger, please?"

There is something in his broken plea that guides my hand to the latch, allowing him to step inside my safe haven. He looks desperate, as if he needs my acceptance of him in my house to make him happy again. It might just be some stupid ploy but for some reason my heart aches for him.

We walk up the stairs silently, our steps causing the rotting wood beneath our feet to moan. The apartment building is creepy but it was all I could afford on my measly earning from the street shows I put on.

"Do you want coffee or tea?" I question from the built in kitchen as Morgue settles himself into the armchair.

"Tea," he answers. "Danger, please come here."

I set the kettle on the working burner and then cross the floor so I am sitting on the back of the armchair.

Morgue twists around so that he can see me. To my surprise he reaches upward, resting his hand on my thigh. His skin is soft against mine and slightly chilly. I resist the urge to pull away. It isn't that I don't want human contact its just that I'm not used to it and of all people I didn't expect Morgue to be that forward.

"I'm sorry, about earlier. I shouldn't have gotten so upset."

I nod, still not quite sure of how I should approach this topic. I like Morgue and I would love to have him be a part of my life even more so than he already is. I mean he's a coworker that shares a passion for the kind of work I do. We've known each other for two days. We shouldn't have this kind of bond. It just isn't natural. It scares me.

"Why do you care so much? I mean you don't know me."

Morgue sighs, his lips parting and then closing over and over again, as if he's testing the air. The kettle starts to whistle and I get up to fix the tea. This gives Morgue time to figure out what he wants to say.

"You're special. No one looks at me like you do. When I look your way while I'm preforming you've got this look, I don't know, it's like I hung the moon or something. I've never seen such admiration in someone's eyes; not even Asia's."

I can't help but smile as I hand Morgue his tea. The hand that reaches up to grab it is almost as white as the cup. It's just another thing that draws me in and causes such intense fascination.

"You fascinate me Morgue. You're like this creature that no one's ever seen but they want to and then someone I was the one lucky person that got to experience you in person."

Morgue's eyebrows knit together as if he doesn't quite understand what I am saying. Unable to think of another way to describe it I let his figure it out. I watch as understanding washes over his face.

"I shouldn't like you Danger. Its…dangerous," Morgue smirks, laughing at his own joke.

I can't help but join in. His ridiculous joke was actually pretty funny.

We spend the rest of the night talking, discussing our worldviews and taking the time to actually understand each other. It's refreshing to talk to someone who can comprehend how you see things and actually accepts that their our different ideas than their own.


	3. Chapter 3: Trust Gained

By the time Morgue and I finally wake up my living room is flooded with fire, the open blinds allowing for the rays of sun to spill across the floor. The light creeps into every corner of my home, as if its got a right to be there, as if I've been denying it part of its domain. Shielding my face I pull the curtain across the window, cutting my world off from the outside.

Morgue groans, rolling off the couch, he looks confused, as if he doesn't exactly remember falling asleep at my house. "What time is it?"

"Its like twelve," I respond, heading towards the bedroom to pull on a pair of black legging and a tank tops that has a skull painted on the front. I don't have the time to make my hair or my make-up look decent. I will embrace the bed head look.

Morgue gathers up his stuff and waits for me at the door as I quickly dump a can of tuna in Milo's dish. He meows a few more times before burying his face in the plastic bowl. Once I am assured my cat will not starve I grab my keys off of the hook and slam the door behind me.

Morgue and I basically run the distance between my house and the show. I have no idea if we are late or not but I don't really want to find out. The sun is hot, causing a few drops of sweat to trickle from my hairline down my face and suddenly I'm glad I didn't have a chance to put makeup on. I can't help but catch the eye of a few people we pass. They all look confused, as if they've seen nothing stranger than two people clad in all black out for an afternoon jog down the boardwalk.

As Morgue and I enter the Freak Show Todd, Murrugan and Brianna are discussing the upcoming sword-swallowing event.

"Morgue doesn't even consider himself a sword swallower, he a shock artist," Brianna says with a laugh.

Why the hell are these other performers poking fun at each other? Isn't the Freak Show about accepting everyone no matter how different they are? Why does it matter that we call ourselves something different? We all have accomplished the art of sword swallowing. There should be an aspect of respect there.

Morgue's smile that he had been wearing since this morning droops. His eyes cloud over, all emotion draining out of his face. 

"Don't let them bother you," I whisper hoping I can build up his spirit in some way. People don't ever think about how their words affect others. They just spout shit to make themselves feel better with no consideration of those who have to hear what they are saying. It's infuriating.

"I was actually just talking to them about the sword swallowing event," Todd interjects, trying to break up the tension that is building up in the room.

"Oh yeah," Morgue says with an enthusiastic smile. "I have a few things planned. It's a surprise though…but, I can tell you one thing; it's gonna be much better than whatever you're doing."

Morgue motions to Murrugan and Brianna with his hand. I can see the challenging looks cross over the older performers faces. They hate that Morgue gets attention and that he can combine sword swallowing with shock art; that he's taken one art form and molded it into something that will keep him interesting and new.

"And then you woke up," Murrugan chuckles getting Todd and Brianna to join in with his joking. All three laugh as Morgue gently presses on my lower back, the two of us heading to the other side of the room. There is no use arguing with people who have a chip on their shoulder.

Morgue gives Murrugan the middle finger as we walk across the stage towards the back room. At least there we can be by ourselves and not have to deal with co-workers who do not support our art form.

I've almost made it across the stage when Murrugan stands, preventing me from following Morgue. He is tall than I am. I should've worn heels but I just didn't have time to grab a pair. The fire haired man stands about a foot taller than me, his body language reeking of intimidation.

"What are you doing to do?"

"It's a secret that I don't really trust you with," I respond back, trying to sound brave. I'm not really sure if it worked but Murrugan does move away from me.

"You respect us and we'll respect you, that's how it goes," Morgue says, his tone sharp and authoritative.

"Some respect is earned though," Brianna comes to Murrugan's rescue, her beady eyes set on me as if all of this is suddenly my fault. As if me coming to work at the Freak Show has suddenly stirred up some kind of hostility between performers.

"Yeah, some respect is earned," Murrugan reiterates as if worried our hearing isn't very good.

"You can't touch me when it comes to a performance."

"Dude," Murrugan says getting up from his seat and walking over so that he is standing a couple inches away from Morgue and myself, "I'm sitting here, being diplomatic…"

"You just can't stand the pressure," Morgue accuses, getting Murrugan off mid-way through his sentence.

Murrugan and Brianna scoff as if they cannot believe what the shock artist has just said. Yet, neither of them answer back, almost like they have no idea how to respond.

"What, is that too much? You don't like it?" I question, my tone accusing. I'm not gonna let them just get away with making fun of Morgue and his art, especially not after the conversations the two of us shared last night.

Murrugan's dark eyes, land on me, a look of pure hatred running up and down his face, "Don't involve yourself little girl."

At this point the tension between artists has become so thick you could cut it with a blunt knife. Todd decides its best to step in and take back control of a situation that never should have escalated in the first place.

"I don't mind the competition but let's just be prepared. I don't want any accidents. I don't want any mistakes. I want to make history."

For the rest of the day I try and stay out of Murrugan and Brianna's way. It isn't so much that I am scared of them it's just that I don't want to give Todd any reason to let me go. I enjoy this job and would really like to be able to keep preforming at the Freak Show.

My stunt is one of the harder ones I've tried and in order to get it down I have to practice without the swords. It requires a great deal of arm strength and the exact right timing. One little mistake and I could end up in the emergency room with a sword sticking out of me. It's happened before when I was first starting out and not many people thought that I would recover enough to go back to doing this stunt. Yet, I know that for this event I need to pull out all the stops to impress not only Todd but also my fellow performers and Dan Meyer the head of the Sword Swallowing Association.

The week progresses slowly. Everyone goes about their own business trying to perfect their own acts. This is a really big week and Todd is putting a lot of pressure on everyone, especially those who can swallow swords.

Just as I am about to flip back off from my hands to my feet someone comes up behind me, gently placing a hand on my back. Toppling over I end up hitting the side of the stage, a pain shooting up and down the left side of my body. Soft hands help me up off the ground, leading me over to a chair in the corner.

"I'm sorry," Morgue's soft voice fills my ears and suddenly all anger I held inside floats away. "Are you okay?"

"Probably just a little bruised," I answer back, trying to keep the sharp edge out of my words.

Morgue frowns, his eyes scanning over my face, looking for any physical signs of damage.

"I'm fine, the pain is fading anyway," I reassure him, taking in a deep breath just to make sure none of my rips are cracked. No intense pain shoots through my body so I know I am just fine. "What did you want?"

"Oh yeah," Morgue drops to his knees in from of me, his chin balancing on his intertwined fingers. "Asia asked me to teach her how to swallow swords."

For a minute I'm taking aback. It isn't that Morgue isn't good at swallowing swords. I did some research on him and the others before I decided to sign up for the Freak Show. I know what he can do and it's amazing. Yet, there are others such as Murrugan or Brianna or even myself who would have been just a capable of training her. Then again, as I put more thought into it, I remember the way Asia's eyes lit up whenever Morgue even so much as glances her way. Of course she'd ask him to teach her. The more time she gets to spend with Morgue the more they will get to know each other.

"What are you thinking Danger," Morgue questions pulling me out of my thought induced panic. It isn't that I don't like Asia, she's very sweet and I think she will be a good performer one day, but she's very young. Morgue is 23 Asia is barely 20. They just aren't on the same intellectual level.

"I need a cigarette," I answer, heading outside.

Morgue follows closely behind, allowing me to take a few puffs before pressing me again from my opinion.

I watch my cigarette smoke curl upwards to the sky as I answer him. "I think it's good she wants to learn and I'm sure she's thrilled that you are willing to teach her something like that. It's a really good bonding experience for performers to pass down acts to younger artists."

Morgue nods, "I gave her a hanger. She really wants to get it down by the event this Friday."

"Is she any good at it?"

"Not right now," Morgue kinda chuckles. "She just started yesterday though."

Putting out my cigarette out with the toe of my vans I turn back towards Morgue. I'm still not one hundred percent positive on why he felt he needed to tell me about Asia asking for his help. Sure the two of us are friends but so are they. Why am I supposed to care who else Morgue is hanging out with?

"Do you want lunch?" I ask.

"Sure."

Together we walk down the boardwalk to a sandwich place; I take a seat while Morgue orders for us. He gets basic veggie on both subs and although its not typically what I would get it's still really good.

As we finish up I can't help but ask the question that has been burning my tongue all day long, "So, what are you doing for the event?"

I get an eyebrow raise in response and if Morgue cannot believe I would actually be asking him that question. I am curious though and will not back down.

"You're not gonna tell anyone?"

"No," I answer back with a grin.

"Promise?"

Yet another eyebrow is raised a I let out a sigh of exasperation.

"Duh."

Morgue laughs before scooting his chair closer to mine so that no one in the shop can over hear us. "Okay…well, I'm gonna take a big ol' steel ball…." 

I cut him off before he can go any further. I want to know every single detail of this stunt. If he's doing something big I want to be able to tell people that I was the very first one to know about it. Also if by chance the stunt goes wrong maybe I'll be able to help. "Like how big?"

Morgue makes a circle with his fingers, creating a hole about the same size as a billiard ball, maybe even a little bit bigger. My eyes grow as I begin to imagine all of the crazy things that could possible be done with something like that. "Holy crap!"

"Big ass one," Morgue grins obviously enjoying the type of reaction he is getting out of me. "Okay, and I'm gonna swallow it down and then, while it's down there I'm gonna take a sword and then swallow that all the way down. So both the ball and the sword are in my body just sittin' in there…becoming friends, getting to know each other."

My hands have moved up to my face, each once placed on a cheek. I cannot believe he is going to attempt something like this. He could get really hurt. I've never heard of anyone attempting anything like this before. I don't even know if it can physically be done.

"Are you sure about this?"

Morgue just nods his head, that devilish smile set firmly on his lips. There is no way that anyone is going to be able to talk him out of this.

"Do they touch each other?"

"Actually the sword hits the steel ball."

For a second I close my eyes, almost too scared to ask the next question that has formed in my head, making its way into my mouth, pushing against my lips, the words begging to be spoken aloud. "What happens if, you know, you can't get the ball back up?"

"Then I die."

"Serious?"

"Seriously, I die," Morgue answers before starting to laugh. My eyes must be as big as saucers, my lips slightly parted. "But, that hasn't happened yet."

My mouth opens and closes as I try to find the words to express just how much I wish he would not be doing this. How many times has it been rehearsed? Has he ever gotten hurt trying to attempt this? The questions swirl around in my brain just as the smoke from earlier had in the ocean breeze.

Morgue smirks at me, his eyes full of a childlike excitement that I have never seen before. "You're reactions are so funny."

"You're like my one friend, I don't wanna lose you just yet," I explain as we head back to the Freak Show.

"I don't know why, I usually hate people, but somehow you've managed to intrigue me," Morgue says with a slight eye roll.

"I'd apologize but I'm not really all that sorry," I respond back with a smirk.

I don't know the kind of relationship Morgue and I have formed but it goes beyond a basic friendship. I came to the Freak Show looking for a way to make money and what I found is so much more than that.


	4. Chapter 4: Danger

The day of the stunt there is a nervous energy flowing through the Freak Show. Everyone is hurrying back and forth, trying to get every last aspect of not only the building perfect but also any last minute touch ups to stunts. I've taken to pacing back and forth, ear buds in, Marilyn Manson seeping into every nook and cranny in my brain. I need to stay calm and focused.

Morgue and Asia have disappeared, probably in order to make sure she is not going to hurt herself when she goes to swallow an actual sword. I mentally wish her luck. The first time can be scary.

I stare at the single stool sitting on the Freak Show stage. I visualize the stunt going perfect, the crowd being astonished that someone could even do what I just did.

As Todd calls us to gather around for the pre-show pep talk Morgue's face appears inches from mine. There is a weird look in his dark eyes, like panic or desperation or a mixture of both. It's weird and haunting.

"Can I just…" his hands wrap around my thin arm, pushing me away from the rest of my co-workers.

Arms go up beside my head, a slim yet solid body preventing me from moving. I'm confused. I've never seen nor heard of Morgue acting this way. It seems very out of character. I search his eyes for any signs he might be on something but it doesn't look like it.

"What's wrong?" I question, taking his face in my hands. I want him to stop searching my face, for him to stop shaking. It's frightening. "Are you nervous?"

"Not for the event," Morgue answers back quickly.

"Then…?"

Morgue moves one of his arms so that he can allow one of his hands to cover mine. I don't think I will ever be able to get over just how soft his skin feels against mine. And that warmth yet chill that I get, it's like nothing I've ever experienced. It draws me in and pushes me away all at the same time.

"Brianna is swallowing three swords, up staging you by one but you told Todd that you were going to one up her."

"And?"

I'm not quite sure what he is getting at.

"So what are you doing?"

"Are you nervous for me?"

Morgue signs, his eyes going back to normal. It's as if he's coming down from some weird high. I'm worried for him. "No, just…be safe."

Although I know I shouldn't I can't help but smirk, giving him a smartass response. "Safe isn't necessarily in my vocabulary."

A deep-throated groan erupts from Morgue's dark lips. Disappearing almost as quickly as it appeared "Let me just…."

Lips are quickly pushed up against my cheek and then, just like that, Morgue disappears leaving me to question if the interaction really happened or if I just imagined it.

I have no idea what any of that was about and I have no time to question it. The people have started to pour into the small building, cutting off my air supply, their voices morphing together, making it hard to think.

I am swept up in the current, left to watch Morgue's act from the side of the stage.

He sucks the metal ball down into his stomach, causing various gasps and screams to erupt from the crowd. I can't help look towards Murrugan who is watching my friend very closely. Every move Morgue makes is scrutinized. Then again I can also see the look of awe cross over the sword swallowers face. He's probably never seen anything like this before either.

Morgue twists the sword around in his throat before pulling it out of his mouth. This is the hardest part…he has to get the ball back out. If not that could mean the end of the show not just for Morgue but also for everyone watching. It's terrifying to witness but definitely something people will be talking about forever.

As the ball appears back between Morgue's perfectly white teeth I let out the breath that I had been holding. I've never been so nervous watching someone else perform.

It is now my turn. Taking a deep breath I slowly walk towards the stage. Morgue has moved the stool into the middle of the platform so that everyone in the room will be able to see. Taking a deep breath I flip myself up onto the stool so that I am balanced on just my hands. I nod to Morgue who then places one of my swords so that it is dangling between my legs; the other is propped up beside me.

Taking a deep breath I shift my weight over so that I am balanced on just one hand. Picking up the sword I line it up with my mouth and then proceed to swallow it down. Trying to keep my breathing as light as possible I bite down onto the cold metal then replace my hand. The audience applauds. If only they knew what was coming next. Closing my eyes I begin to lower myself closer to the stool until my nose touches the seat. Then counting backwards from five, I launch myself off the stool, removing the sword as I do so. Twisting around in the air I grab on to the end of the other sword and finish swallowing it just as I land on my feet.

Everyone in the audience including my co-workers break out into praise. I bow quickly before removing the sword from my mouth, letting out a sign of relief. If my torso had bent at any part of that act I would have impaled myself.

As Asia performs her stunt and takes the title of America's youngest female sword swallower Morgue walks over to me. His arms are crossed in front of him, and he wears the exact same facial expression he did as when I first auditioned at the Freak Show.

"What did you think?"

"I thought it was dangerous and I was ready to call 911 the entire time but it was also amazing. You had no fear and that admirable," Morgue responds, his eyes never leaving the stage were Asia is still standing.

"What can I say…I like danger."


	5. Chapter 5: Roller Rink

It's been almost a month since I've started at the Freak Show. Although I am still not very close with the other performers, Morgue and I are very good friends. He shows up at my door at least once a week. It wasn't till a few nights ago when I finally got him to admit that he wasn't "just passing through the area" and that he actually makes a special trip to come see me. He doesn't think my neighborhood is very safe and wants to make sure that I'm doing okay. At first it didn't strike me as very 'Morgue like' but as we've gotten to know each other better I've come to realize that Morgue is actually very protective and caring.

This week, Todd is out of town with his wife and son on a mission to get a two-headed baby. This means that in his leave of absence, the Freak Show is closed. Yet, we all still have to go in to feed the animals and practice for the big show at the end of the week.

Walking into the building I see Morgue, Asia, Creature and Ali standing by the front counter. Morgue turns to see who has arrived and smiles as he realizes its me. Handing him the bottle of vodka I picked up on my way to the Freak Show, I lean up against the glass counter.

"So since we have the day off are you guys in the mood to do something?" Ali questions, a bright smile spreading across her face.

Going out. I can't remember the last time I actually went out. The thought terrifies me. People and public places are frightening. The gazes or judgmental people make my skin crawl. The fact that I have no control over the situation makes me nauseous.

I put on a smile.

"Yeah!" Asia proclaims.

Ali turns her gaze to the pale man standing next to me, "What do you do for fun Morgue?"

A chorus of the same question is directed at Morgue. He shifts his weight, arm brushing up against mine. I see one of Morgue's famous fake smiles create a mask on his white face.

"I don't…I don't leave my apartment," he answers, knuckles turning white around the neck of his bottle.

Creature laughs as everyone looks at Morgue as if they don't believe the words that just escaped his lips.

Morgue signs, understanding that he's going to have spell this out for his fellow performers, "No seriously, on my off days I just stay home."

Or come spend time with me, I think silently to myself.

"We should go roller skating!" Asia says excitedly, her eyes lighting up as if it's the best idea she's ever had.

"Freak skate! Freak skate!" Creature chimes in happily, twirling around the small area over towards Asia so he can give her a high five.

"That'd be fun!" Ali interjects.

Internally I groan. On the outside I still wear a fake mesmerized smile.

Morgue lifts the bottle to his lips, taking a sip before answering, "You want to go to a roller rink?"

He sounds disgusted with the idea. I now regret agreeing to come drop the bottle off. If I had just encouraged him to come get it with me we'd be sitting in my apartment right now getting drunk watching Donnie Darko. Instead we're going to get wrapped into going to a roller rink.

"Yeah!" Asia says as if the answer should be obvious. "You and Danger should come."

"Um…" Morgue searches the blank space in front of him for the proper way to word things, "outside of the Freak Show, okay, I don't do this kind of stuff. I don't really think Danger does either."

My friend turns to me to get some back up. He looks lost, like the panic has already started setting in just thinking about going out. I can't say I blame him.

"Not at all. I don't go out. I sit inside and write or play with my cat, or….sleep."

"I got issues going on," Morgue says, circling his head with the bottle. "It'll put me in a very weird state."

"Just see what happens," Ali pleads.

Why are they so insistent on this? What is the difference if Morgue and I come?

"And besides," Creature joins in, "Danger will be there. I'm sure she'll feel the same way you do. We'll make it fun."

How was I volunteered to go? The last thing I want to do is put on roller skates and pretend to be having fun while on the inside the walls are slowly closing in and I feel like I might vomit at any second. That just doesn't sound like my idea of fun.

There is a chorus of "it will be fun" and "we're just gonna kidnap you too." I can see that Morgue is having some kind of internal conflict. He really does like Asia and Ali.

Sighing I make a rash decision, "If you go I'll go."

This seems to solve any kind of reserve Morgue has about going. His face softens enough to allow part of a smile. "Alright, alright, I like you guys, I respect you guys…so yeah."

Ali, Asia and Creature cheer; in their minds they have won some sort of victory.

"Don't take that lightly because I choose my friends very carefully," Morgue answers.

Asia looks conflicted. Her eyes sweep back and forth between Morgue and I.

"That can't be entirely true," she starts, "you made fast friends with Danger…before anyone else in the Freak Show even really knew her."

"What does that have anything to do with it?" I question, moving to stand right in front of Asia. Is she really gonna try and start a fight right now?

"Nothing," she says back absent mindedly, "Wait…who is driving?"

Scoffing I move back to stand by Morgue. I can't believe she would accuse Morgue of lying about something like that. She should know better. Hasn't she known him the longest?

"I can drive, but my car is really, really tiny...like me," Ali offers up.

Morgue looks confused, "Like, really? Are you being serious?"

Ali breaks out into a laugh, "I'm just kidding."

"Oh…I thought…" Morgue trails off probably figuring there is no point in trying to explain his mental processing.

"It's a normal car."

Asia is laughing hysterically, her hand held up for Ali to high five, "I love you."

I become overly interested in the chipping black nail polish that covers my nails. I am not looking forward to going out. It is not something I enjoy. I'd much rather just sit at home with my cat. It's peaceful at home. I have enough alcohol to cover me for about a month and most important of all is that at my apartment I am safe from prying eyes.

"So are we good?" Asia prompts pulling me out of the peaceful fantasy of my home.

"Lets go," I grumble as we all head towards Ali's car, which is parked behind the Freak Show building.

Asia, Morgue and myself cram into the back of Ali's car. Morgue is squished up against the car door, his leg pressing against mine. This back seat is not meant to fit three adults.

"I'm so excited," says Asia, her big brown eyes focused on Morgue.

"Me too!" Ali and Creature reply both setting their eyes on Morgue and I.

The both of us wear looks of mild horror. This is going to be a very long night.

The roller rink smells like stale food, mold, and little kids. The carpet is a weird blue with color flakes in it as if that's supposed to put you in a good mood and make you feel excited to be here. It just makes me want to puke.

Morgue and I lag behind as the others head up to the counter where you rent skates. If they think I'm skating they've got another thing coming. I remember being drug to places like this when I was younger. I hated them even then.

"I need about a size 9," Creature sates.

I watch the man at the counter take a few looks at the pierced face of my fellow performer. There is judgment in his eyes, yet also questions. I hate those looks. Those people that are silently thinking to themselves that they wish we would leave, or why someone would ever do what we do. People are ignorant.

Once Creature's skates are set on the counter the attendant looks toward Morgue and I, "You two?"

"You know, I'm good right now but I might get 'em later. Is that alright?"

I don't see the response of the attendant. I've begun picking at a string that's hanging off of my jacket, hoping to avoid eye contact at all costs. I've started to get very nauseous and my skin is starting to crawl. I imagine this is how a heroine addict feels without their fix.

Morgue gently, pushes against my back, guiding me over to a bench on the side of the skating rink. As everyone around us puts on their skates I try and keep my breathing even.

Asia looks over at Morgue as she laces up her roller skate, "So you're gonna sit out for now?"

"Yeah," Morgue answers, glancing over at me. "We might go later."

His laugh fills my ears as I try to put on a happy face, "Still just trying to soak up the atmosphere."

Morgue smirks, knowing exactly what I am talking about.

"So Morgue, I haven't seen you outside of the Freak Show really," Ali presses on. What are these people trying to prove?

"Well, I don't really go out."

"We want you to skate Morgue. That's what that meant. You should get some," Asia interjects.

"I might."

"Please, please, with a cherry on top," Asia pushes even further.

Frustration flashes in Morgue's eyes. He doesn't like to be pressured into doing things. "I'll think about it Asia."

"No, do it.

"Gimme a second."

I don't understand why everyone can't just be happy that we came out. That's a huge step.

For a while Morgue and I sit quietly, watching the others skate around, laughing and messing around as if this is the most fun thing they've ever done. Morgue shifts around on the bench, unable to find a comfortable position. Although I am highly uncomfortable and on the verge of a mental break I am very worried about my friend.

Burying my own feelings I turn and face Morgue, "What's up?"

"Like I said, I don't really leave my apartment. I feel very uncomfortable in these situations. I'm sure you can relate," he responds, eyes running up and down my face which I'm sure is chalk white.

"Yeah, it's like being a little kid and your mom just throwing you in the pool and that moment you're underwater and can't breath or see and your body feels like your die."

"You look nauseous," Morgue responds, his eyes sad, mouth turned into a frown.

All I can do is nod. I've started to shake a little bit. This is too much.

"Me too," Morgue admits even though I had pretty much figured that out, "and claustrophobic. This whole situation really upsets me."

"Can we go outside?" I blurt out before I can stop myself. If I don't get fresh air I'm going to go insane.

"Please," Morgue answers as we both stand and walk as quickly as we can to the door.

Once outside I collapse on the curb, just happy to be away from the sing-songy music and all the other people. I feel like lungs expand slowly, allowing me to take in the air I've been fighting to get inside the roller rink.

Out of the corner of my eyes I see a set of roller skates coming towards us. Glancing up I realize that it is Asia Ray.

"I'll see you back inside," I communicate to Morgue before standing up.

"You don't have to," he protests.

I just shrug. I know Asia didn't come outside to talk to both of us. She wants to talk to Morgue. She likes him a lot and I just kind of showed up and stole him away from her. It wasn't something I planned and I don't feel bad about it I just know what she doesn't really like me.

Inside, Ali and Creature have also stopped skating the two of them sitting at the table eating a basket of fries. I join them, trying not to let my body go back into panic mode.

"Is he okay?" Ali questions.

"Yeah," I answer back not sure if Morgue really wants them knowing what is going on. "We just needed some fresh air."

"These places make you nervous don't they?" Creature asks.

I nod back in response. "It isn't that I don't want to spend time with everyone and get to know all of you but…places….placed like this, make me very nervous. I get headaches and body shivers. Like a panic attack on steroids."

"You don't have to let it affect you like that. Just remind yourself that you're here with people who care about you and people that are like you," Ali says trying to offer me some advice.

In my head it makes a lot of sense. I just wish I could get my body to react the same way.

"So when did you start doing all the stunt stuff?" Creature asks, picking up on the fact that I'm not really comfortable about talking about my social anxiety.

"I started experimenting with things like sword swallowing since I was about fifteen or sixteen. Eventually just swords became boring so I added fire. Then after a while I incorporated my gymnastics and contortion into my acts. Right now I'm working with electricity and things like the human pincushion. I like pushing myself."

Ali smiles, "I see why you and Morgue get along."

I feel my cheeks begin to burn and I know that I'm blushing. "He's an amazing performer."

"So you two are close?" Creature questions.

"We spend time together because of what we do. I think that's the main reason why we are close," I answer.

I don't really have any more information to give them. Morgue isn't a physical person. He doesn't give hugs or hold hands. We enjoy the mental company of each other. I've never been around someone who thinks so similarly to me. It's refreshing. But, other than that, Morgue and I are just friends.

Before Creature and Ali can ask any more questions Morgue and Asia walk in. Morgue sits next to me.

"Are you good," I whisper.

"Ish," Morgue responds back quickly before Creature drags him off to play some game over in the corner.

All I want is a cigarette.

**Author's Note: Thank you to Rose1324 for the follow and favorite! Remember to review with any comments or suggestions. I love to get feed back :)**


	6. Chapter 6: Channeling Anger

Music bounds in my eardrums, a small spark explodes from my dark blue lighter, licking at the contents in my pipe. I inhale; smoke filling my lungs, seeping into every crevice of my body. I can feel myself being lifted up and slowly becoming weightless. The walls begin to wave back and forth like ocean waves as I begin to involuntarily sway back and forth to the music that is filling my bedroom.

The bottle of wine on my bedside is cold against my lips as I finish off the contents. That bottle was full about thirty minutes ago. I didn't think I was drinking it that fast. I take another hit.

As the room begins to spin I drop what is in my hand, crawling across the floor. I manage to get my closes off as I make my way across the banged up wooden floor. The tub is cold against my bare skin.

Milo mews at me a couple times, nibbling at my hand as if he's the only one who knows I'll regret falling asleep here on the floor instead of in my bed. The room is spinning around too much for me to move anymore. I stare at the ceiling as it creates colorful waves above me until my eyes get too heavy to keep open anymore.

I pass on the bathroom floor.

A shrill electronic sound pulls me out of my drug-induced slumber. Stumbling forward I almost hit my head on the toilet trying to get out of the bathroom. I pick up a pillow and throw it across the room, smothering the clock on the other side of the room. A black shirt is pulled over my head; dirty jeans from last night are tugged up. There is a couple new burn marks on them but I figure no one is going to notice.

I fight to keep my eyes open as my head begins to pound. The alarm clock is no longer tuned out and I tumble across the bed in order to unplug it from the wall.

Unable to hold it down anymore I try and make it to the toilet but stumble and end up emptying the contents of my stomach into the tub.

Milo gives me a disapproving look. For a cat he's really fucking judgmental.

"Hush," I shoot back, running water in the tub to wash away my vomit.

I wonder if you can call in sick to a Freak Show. Eventually I decide that isn't a thing.

Fumbling through the living room I pull on an old pair of Chuck Taylors before pulling a bottle of wine out of the cabinet and swishing it around in my mouth to get the bad taste out of my mouth.

The room spins a little. Taking a deep breath I pull the door closed behind me.

Morgue is waiting outside, a cigarette held firmly between his fingers. I can see the look of disapproval on his face. I should have known better than to think I could hide being hung over and still a little bit high from Morgue. He's too smart. I'm about to get a lecture. My stomach lurches.

"You didn't answer my call last night," Morgue starts as I sit down next to him. Maybe if I pretend to be sober he won't notice.

"Yeah, I just went straight to bed when we got back," I reply.

Morgue doesn't look convinced, "It was seven-thirty."

"I was tired."

A sigh slips out of Morgue's lips before he stands, heading into the Freak Show. I can tell he has no desire to deal with me this morning.

"Hello, hello," Morgue says as we walk past Murrugan and Todd. They both look surprised as how pleasant he is being.

"Hey, what's going on princess?" Murrugan answers back. Why does he always feel the need to start shit when it doesn't need to be started? I think he just likes looking for trouble.

I have just enough alcohol and drugs left in my system to make me not want to put up with anyone's shit today. Stopping I turn and look right at Murrugan. I could hit him but I know that won't get me anywhere. He reminds me of the kind of guy who wouldn't be afraid to take a swing back.

"Really? He's trying to be friendly and you're being a dick," I fire back.

Murrugan smirks, "Someone woke up on the wrong side of the coffin this morning."

Before I can say anything else Morgue steps in. "How are you doing?" I can tell he doesn't want a conflict this morning.

"I…I'm doing good. Your sidekick looks like she might need a stiff one though," Murrugan answers obviously not going down without some kind of fight.

Morgue smiles over at me, any disappointment from early completely vanished from his gaze. "Naw, she's fine."

"That's debatable," Murrugan says.

"Stop being an asshole to Morgue and me and maybe I'll start being nice to you," I shoot back. I'm at a point where I am ready to hit him.

"You can't just come in here and act all high and mighty," Murrugan responds, coming to stand in front of me.

I decide to take a different approach. Maybe if I act all confused and innocent Murrugan will back off, or at least try being a little nicer. "It's just how…how to you expect me to show you any personal respect, because I do respect you very much as a performer, when you've not been nice to me or my friend."

"Stop being a little bitch and maybe I can start being nice," Murrugan retorts.

My finger's curl into a fist, blood boiling under my skin, I can't believe he would say that. As I am about to whined back my hand is caught by Morgue's.

He shakes his head, "Woah, woah, let's not start calling names. Come on Danger, just ignore him, that's what everyone else does."

I'm gently led towards the back of the building. Morgue sits me down, shoving water in my hand. For a while, two dark eyes stare at me. I can't tell if Morgue wants to yell at me or congratulate me. It's an uneasy feeling.

"What are you thinking?" I finally ask, no longer able to sit in the silence.

"You really should be trying to make other friends here. Fighting with Murrugan isn't going to help you. Also, drinking yourself into oblivion the night before work isn't such a good idea either. I don't want you to get fired."

"Why?"

"Then I wouldn't see you anymore and you'd have to go back to performing on the street corner. You don't deal with people well enough to be doing that."

"How do you know?"

Morgue sighs, "You're too smart-mouthed to deal with people. You snap back quickly without thinking. Not only that but your anxiety goes through the roof. I see it everyday here and I saw it at the skating rink."

This is the first real, solid form of concern that Morgue has shown towards me. I feel my cheeks warm up and my heart beat speed up a little. This feeling is weird and irrational. I quickly shut it down

"It's not about getting back at people, it's about defending myself."

"You have to channel it somewhere else. People are stupid and don't understand difference. If you're going to continue to be a free thinker you need to not let it bother you. Work on new acts or something but you can't lash out like that. Todd won't keep you around."

I stand up and move closer to Morgue, I know he doesn't like being touched but I can't help it. I place my lips gently on his forehead. I need to act on my feelings or else I'm going to go insane. I need to know if Morgue feels them too. I feel the automatic jerk away and then feel him relax under my touch. It is comforting.

"Can you teach me how to do the needle trick?"

"The one where I put the surgical needles through my forehead?"

"Yeah, but I want to put it through something bigger."

Morgue laughs, nudging me away from him, a smile remaining on his face, "Are you trying to upstage me?"

"Maybe," I answer back with sly smile, "but I'm sure you've put them through all kinds of places."

"I can teach you how to put one through your hand but it's gonna hurt. I embrace pain I don't block it out. Can you do that?"

I nod. I'm more ready for this than anything else I've done.

**Authors Note: Thank you to all those who follow/read my story. Remember to comment with questions, or suggestions. Who knows maybe one of you suggestions will get used. Until next time...**


	7. Chapter 7: Human Pin Cushion

The human pincushion trick proves to be a lot harder than I originally thought. Getting an entire surgical needle through my hand without hitting it into something or fucking up any of my nerves is tedious. Before I was even able to start with the needle Morgue made me look up a model of a hand to figure out a semi-safe pathway to aim for.

Following the diagramed route didn't exactly work. I ended up in the hospital twice being lectured each time on how shoving needles through my hand could be detrimental to my health. I don't know why Morgue thought I needed to go anyway…the bleeding would have stopped eventually.

Now, sitting on Morgue's kitchen table, I am determined to get it right. The show is tonight and this has to happen. This is my big stunt. If I don't get this down I don't perform tonight.

Just as I am about to shove the thin metal through my palm Morgue walks in. He lifts an eyebrow, coming to a stop in the doorway. Taking a few breaths I slowly push the needle through my flesh. It feels weird inside. My body definitely doesn't want it there. I feel the pain and I let it overtake my hand, focusing all my energy on that one specific spot on my body. Finally the end of the needle pokes out the top of my hand.

Morgue smiles, "It looks good. Does it hurt?"

I nod as Morgue comes over to examine my work. His touch is gentle and soft. As he pulls the needle out of my hand blood runs across my skin. Morgue grabs a towel off the counter, pressing it to the wound. The look on his face tells me he's worried I won't stop bleeding again.

"I'll be okay," I announce, needing him to say something. Not knowing what he's thinking and feeling makes me uneasy.

Morgue just frowns a little, "You did a good job."

"Thanks."

Silence fills the kitchen again. I know there is more that needs to be said but I don't want to push Morgue to talk. That's not the kind of person he is and I don't want to make him uncomfortable. I want him to open up to me freely.

"Danger, " Morgue says after about another ten minutes. "You aren't like the others."

"What?"

"Some people would have just given up or opted for something so much easier than this. Hell, you could have just shoved the needle under your skin and called it a day but instead you chose this. You chose to shove a surgical needle through your hand. You impress me and that's not something very many people can do."

There is a light in Morgue's eyes that I've only ever seen when he is performing. His hand cups my cheek as he brings our faces closer together. I can feel the blood bubbling under my cheeks and feel his breath against my lips.

"You are terrifying and strange and beautiful all at the same time," Morgue whispers right before his lips crash onto mine. His lips are soft and smooth. Mine work against his, each of us drinking in the other's taste. I place my hand on his neck, fingers intertwining with his hair. For a few seconds nothing else in the world exists.

Then, just as quickly as it happened, it ends. I leave my hand where it is, looking into Morgue's wild eyes. I can feel the blood pumping through the veil on his neck. It's exhilarating and terrifying all at the same time. It was everything I'd expected a kiss from Morgue to be like.

"What was that for?"

Morgue smirks, "Because I wanted to."

I can't help but raise an eyebrow. Of all the times to do something like that he has to choose today. There are dozens of questions rolling around in my brain, trying desperately to escape but I hold them in. I don't want to make whatever this kiss was complicated. That's not what it needs to be. It was pleasure…something we both wanted or needed at the time. To try and analyze it would take away the meaning.

"Are you ready to go to work?" a voice cuts through my thoughts, pulling me back into the current situation.

"Let's do this thing," I answer before getting up off the couch.

Morgue and I are the last two to arrive at the Freak Show. The others are gathered around, playing with one of Todd's various two headed animals that he keeps around the tent as side attractions to the main show. Everyone's gaze shifts towards me; I can see the questions upon the faces of my fellow performers.

Instead of waiting around to hear our friend's inquiries, Morgue leads me towards the back of the building. I can tell that he is still nervous about me performing the needle stunt. I don't quite understand his concern. Morgue performs stuff like this everyday like its nothing. Yet, as soon as I decide I should start trying to amp up what I do he all of a sudden acts like it's the most dangerous thing in the world.

Morgue is the first to perform. Todd figured most of the little kids would still be looking at the various sideshow memorabilia and thus wouldn't see the human pincushion trick the shock artist decided to do.

I hold the package of surgical needles in my hand, allowing Morgue to grab them out, as he needs. He slides them through his forehead never once wincing at the pain.

"Morgue, are you ready?" Todd questions after a couple more seconds.

"I am ready," he answers as the crowd applauds. "Ladies and gentleman if you're ready to see some pain let me hear you say "yeah"!"

"Yeah!" the crowd cheers.

The light in Morgue's eyes switches on, the same one from earlier when he kissed me. I can't help but feel a little bit jealous. I kind of wish I could be the one and only thing that brought about that look. But, I know that's not how Morgue operates. No matter what I do or say nothing will every change that.

"On the count of three I want everyone here to yell out blood!" Morgue continues on, a hint of excitement in his voice.

"One…" I start the count down. This is my job. I need to get over how I feel and do what I need to do. "Two…Three..!"

The crowd roars back in return, "Blood!"

"Let's have some fun," Morgue smirks. He takes another needle out of the package and slowly pushes it through his cheek. Once it is through the performer twists the needle around a few times before motioning for me to remove it.

Together we bow. The audience applauds as I unwrap the needle that will be going through my hand. Once those watching settle down I slowly start to push the needle into my flesh. A few people gasp but I hardly notice, I focus on the tiny spot of pain as it travels further through my body until it pokes out the top of my hand.

Bowing once again I head towards the edge of the stage, pulling the needle from my hand.

"Enjoy the rest of the show," Morgue says in haste before hurrying after me.

There is blood everywhere and I cannot feel my hand. The room slowly starts to spin before fading into blackness.


End file.
